Sometimes People Can Be So Stupid...

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I don't know what it is about a pregnant lady/lady with a baby that can bring out the most stupid comments and questions ever. Here are just a few that I have personally received during my pregnancy and Grayson Boy's first 11 months of life and the things I wish I would have said. "Are you pregnant?" (At 9 months whale-huge mind you)"Nope, I ate alot of doughnuts." "Were you excited to get pregnant?""No, we were trying for surrogacy but the owners backed out so now I'm stuck with it!"  "What does it feel like to be pregnant? Do you feel huge all the time?" "Like a ninja is trying to break out of my belly at any given second, and I do now you skinny snot" "Ouch, do contractions hurt?""No, they tickle- that's why I'm doubled over here you ass."  After baby has arrived... "Aw, what is it??" (Keep in mind hes in head to toe blue with a bib that says Daddy's Little Man)"Its a baby, you half-wit." "Did it hurt?" "Did what hurt?""Having a baby.""Nah, I bought him at 7-11. Didnt hurt a bit." "Wow how old is he?""Eleven Months""Woah, hes a big 11 months.""Yeah, and you're an ugly 30 year old, whats your point?" "Does he have any teeth?""Yep, six""Wow, your nips must be raw after he gnaws at them"... (to this I had no comment, whatsoever.)  Ohhh lovelies, sometimes you just cant account for peoples stupidity. Have any of you have any similar experiences?